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=Carenza

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You left it. I sent it. I want it back.

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 5, 2009, 3:34 PM
Feature5Letters & Fitusia

If someone could undress me and put me in bed I'd be very grateful (again). And give the cat some biscuits. *oh so slightly drunk* Actually, the placated cat is far more important.

Now where is that light switch?


On to the features.










I'm sure I had some overwhelmingly important question.




.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Black
  • Reading: 59 seconds
  • Watching: Therefore, by relation
  • Playing: Tricks on myself
  • Eating: Biscuit cakes
  • Drinking: Tea Tea
Skin by *elenulin (modified by =Carenza)

Because I do not hope

Journal Entry: Thu Oct 8, 2009, 4:07 PM


Because I do not hope to turn again
Because I do not hope
Because I do not hope to turn
Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope
I no longer strive to strive towards such things
(Why should the agèd eagle stretch its wings?)
Why should I mourn
The vanished power of the usual reign?

Because I do not hope to know
The infirm glory of the positive hour
Because I do not think
Because I know I shall not know
The one veritable transitory power
Because I cannot drink
There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is
nothing again

Because I know that time is always time
And place is always and only place
And what is actual is actual only for one time
And only for one place
I rejoice that things are as they are and
I renounce the blessèd face
And renounce the voice
Because I cannot hope to turn again
Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something
Upon which to rejoice

And pray to God to have mercy upon us
And pray that I may forget
These matters that with myself I too much discuss
Too much explain
Because I do not hope to turn again
Let these words answer
For what is done, not to be done again
May the judgement not be too heavy upon us

Because these wings are no longer wings to fly
But merely vans to beat the air
The air which is now thoroughly small and dry
Smaller and dryer than the will
Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still.

Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.




Ash Wednesday - T.S.Eliot








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  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: The girl with the flaxen hair
  • Reading: "I could not speak, and my eyes failed."
  • Watching: Therefore, by relation
  • Playing: Tricks on myself
  • Eating: Muffin
  • Drinking: Tea
Skin by *elenulin (modified by =Carenza)

LIttle Boots - Hands: Live (In your CD player)

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 31, 2009, 5:56 AM
I don't know why I bought it.
I guess on the CD cover she reminded me of someone.


Point is, if you want this only played once CD: Little Boots - Hands, I'll send it to you for free!!!!


OMG. Human League? WTF?


In case maybe more than one person wants this, and I wouldn't know why, for a tie breaker;

Please tell me how stupid I am. =)




.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Phil Oakey?
  • Reading: what
  • Watching: the
  • Playing: funk?
  • Eating: that's
  • Drinking: wrong.
Skin by *elenulin (modified by =Carenza)

Broadcast

Journal Entry: Thu Aug 20, 2009, 12:13 PM
It's not working and I can't fix it.

To be honest I cannot see the point anymore.

Why try to take that last breath before I go under?


Why start now?


Look at the clock. It's late and there's no way in.

It is just how it is. Accept it and sit still. Be quiet.




I wish I could be broken down for parts.




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  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: You
  • Reading: will
  • Watching: not
  • Playing: remember
  • Eating: at
  • Drinking: all
Skin by *elenulin (modified by =Carenza)

Night window

Journal Entry: Sun Jul 12, 2009, 5:17 PM
My bedroom is full of insects.


Quite a few years back I used to have quite an aversion to horror films, the dark, and everything related When I was a kid I was terrified of ghosts, and had nightmares about them all the time. And they were shit scary, let me tell you. Nothing like being dragged through the air to see your dead grandmother in the bedroom right beside you to wake you up stuck to the ceiling.

You think you grow out of these things, but really you lose the stimulus as a child that caused you to fear them. I no longer believed in ghosts as a teenager, but I found out I was still very jumpy. Not that jumpy is a bad thing. It's a natural response to real or imagined danger(remember the imagined part, it's important). Like when the friend of a friend at school kept flicking their fingers at your eye

"Made you flinch!" Yeh well, I hope he stood still when people were swinging at him too.

Soo, to overcome this I used to sit downstairs in the dark, or just sit with my eyes closed in a corridor, top landing, in a bedroom, that kind of thing. Normally my own room sadly. But that got me through it. I was no longer jumpy at imagined dangers, which are just something your mind creates, like a yapping terrier, then your body, like a great daft newfoundland, follows suit.

So often I, out of a new habit, sit with the blinds pulled back, window open at night. Except near the end of summer. I never do that.

But I did do that.

My room is full of insects. I had to turn the light off just now. I saw something in my waste paper basket rustling things about. The noise made me think it was some small rodent, but no, it was a moth. A bloody huge moth. And let me tel you, for a creature born with wings they are fucking terrible at flying. This small passenger
aircraft sized Heterocera was head butting everything in sight, till it eventually tried to invade my ear, making me laugh, spasm, and turn the light off, open the window to let it out and...

...all the little insects came in ^.^ I now have at least 3 new deviant art emotes crawling across my monitor like some 3d screensaver.

Can't hate the moth though. I mean, without moths there would be no silk, and it wasn't this big [link] so I pretty much lucked out.

Oh. Right. Pictures.

FeaturesVarious

tomorrow i'll add them *sleep*




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  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Lisa Hannigan
  • Reading: Gross Psycology
  • Watching: The place promised in our early years
  • Playing: carenza
  • Eating: very little =/
  • Drinking: water =/
Skin by *elenulin (modified by =Carenza)

Journal History

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On September 17, 2009, Keenan confirmed that new material from A Perfect Circle was on the way during a live radio interview with BJ Shea on Seattle rock station KISW. 

21%
8 deviants said I'm so happy =)
21%
8 deviants said A perfect who?
18%
7 deviants said Yes!
10%
4 deviants said Hmph
10%
4 deviants said Cut the chit-chat David and pass the macaroons
8%
3 deviants said Oh
8%
3 deviants said {unrelated} Don McLean isn't dead? I thought he was dead. *jinx*
5%
2 deviants said OMG GTFO!
0%
No deviants said I'm so happy as long as it's not like the third album.
0%
No deviants said But what happened to Paz?

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